


Heaven knows I’m miserable now (So say something loving)

by Feetlicks



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive and manipulative parents mentioned, Basically me making my bias suffer again, Chan is v soft and sweet, Changbin’s a hardhead who is secretly a softie, Everyone except Felix is in Stray kids, Felix doesn’t know them, He has a dark past tho, Heavy Angst, Jisung’s there for the free vacation and food, Like I want to hug him dark, M/M, Minho’s the actual brains in the group, Past rape and sexual abuse, Seungmin just wanted a break, Shy Felix?, Woojin’s there to make sure no one dies, it’s The same fucking thing I’m just being dramatic, mentioned human trafficking, so is Hyunjin and Jeongin, v slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2020-08-20 03:29:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20221057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feetlicks/pseuds/Feetlicks
Summary: Felix just wanted to finally be able to wake up without nightmares and to be okay with being around other people.Chan just wanted a vacation so none of his members drop dead from exhaustion.Hyunjin just got roped in the middle of the two when really all he wanted was to take photos and eat.





	1. The sun won’t shine anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Ya girl’s here with an angst story because hah, can I live without angst? No, no I can’t. I am a big sucker for Chanhyunlix so really, this is it, this is my thing now. 
> 
> Real huge trigger warning to everyone, this story will talk about rape, human trafficking, suicide attempts and abuse, so yeah.

The mountain peaks and greenery that Bang Chan hasn’t seen for more than ten years were right in front of his eyes. The pretty blues of the water, the shore he would run through as a child during summer when visiting his grandmother, the small houses and local markets surrounded with a cozy and bright warmth. 

Chan hasn’t been in the Heuksando island since he was ten, and he didn’t image that he was going to ever come back here. And now he was standing on the beach, with his seven members, who all were looking around, not sure how to react to everything. 

One moment they were finishing up with their promotions, all happy with the support they were given by their fans, and the next moment Minho and Seungmin both collapsed, scaring them all. Chan was told that it was the combination of stress, overworking and in Seungmin’s case, lack of proper nutrition. 

So when Park Jinyoung himself had called him to his office, Bang Chan knew that he was done for. He already felt guilty for his members and was on the verge of collapsing himself, so when he was told that they were getting two months away from their activities, he could only gape in surprise and grasp onto the wooden desk tightly. 

And when he was told that the group was going to be spending those two months in Heuksando, away from all the media and watchful eyes, Chan couldn’t help but stutter. And he was met with an amused and understanding smile, JYP telling him that the members should just enjoy themselves and maybe learn something new about each other. 

Chan didn’t speak about his ties to the island, but for all he knew, JYP already probably knew. 

What harm was it either way? He could visit his childhood summers and see the villagers that his grandmother used to boast to about him. 

And that’s how the eight of them got whisked away. They had to travel to the Muan airport and then to Mokpo by a rented bus because the members took way too much luggage only to board a ferry that took them to their final destination. 

Chan almost pitied Changbin and Jisung, knowing that the two will go drive the others insane with their already starting whining about them having to leave the studio. 

But one glare from both him and Woojin shut them up, throwing apologetic glances at Minho and Seungmin who were still feeling so guilty over everything. 

Jeongin and Hyunjin were surprisingly the ones who were most up for the long trip, Hyunjin raving about all the nature and pictures he was going to take and Jeongin wanting to see all the animals he could in the island. 

“Chan, where are we exactly?” Woojin was giving him this weird look, some locals have noticed them and have gathered to watch the pampered looking newcomers. There were even some children who looked at them curiously, one child was even tugging at his mother’s hand and pointing to their hair, gasping at the different colours. 

“In an island?” He was met with an unamused look from the older male, Hyunjin giggling from behind him as he watched the two. Jeongin and Seungmin already planning their adventures as they looked at the green mountains with wide eyes. 

“How many people are on this island?” Changbin was watching a few locals who were setting up a market stand to sell their vegetables, a soft smile marring his features as he took in the way everyone seemed to be so friendly with each other. 

“Umm, about three thousand?” Jisung let out a loud gasp at that, whipping his head around to stare at their leader while Minho shook his head, eyes wide in disbelief. 

“You have got to be kidding me? Hyung? We were dropped off literally nowhere?” Minho was slapped over the back of his head by Woojin, the older male hissing at him to shut up before he actually insults someone. 

Jisung was tugging at Chan’s sleeve, wanting to get his attention, but the blond Australian was staring at a woman who was making her way to them, her smile too familiar for her to be just a perfect stranger. 

He was grabbed into a tight embrace, arms winding around his frame as the old woman smiled up at him, her forehead barely reaching his chin. 

“My little Channie.” The male chuckled as he pressed his cheek onto the top of the woman’s head, remembering that familiar warmth from when he was a kid and buzzing with excitement to escape Australia and spend the summer under the Korean sun. 

“Halmeoni.” He was squeezed once more and the woman cooed at him again before letting him go, turning to look at the seven boys who were looking at her with confused expressions. 

“This brat didn’t tell you that you were gonna meet his grandmother, did he?” Hyunjin let out a loud gasp as he looked from Chan to the old woman. 

“Our old man has a grandmother he never told us about? Not that unlikely.” Jeongin let out a loud choke as Chan tried to swipe at Hyunjin to not embarrass him in front of his oldest relative. But the woman only laughed at that and patted the dancer’s shoulder good naturelly. 

“Come on kids, let’s get you comfy before the locals try to snatch your attention.” Chan could already feel even more stares on them at that point, letting his grandmother usher them to two rented vans, two middle aged men standing near, waiting for them. 

Chan could recognize one of the men as the regular that always helped his grandmother out when she needed to get something fixed. The man didn’t waste time before he pulled the Australian into a tight hug, making Chan wheeze in surprise and his luggage fell loudly. 

He could hear Jisung’s loud laughter from somewhere behind him as they all pulled into the two vans, their overpacked bags making it a tight squeeze, Jeongin even having to hold onto his second smaller luggage for the trip up the road and hill. 

His heart clenched painfully as he took in all the once familiar places and the nostalgic scenery. 

Did old man Seokmin still work in the fish market? A bittersweet smile graced his features as he looked out of the window. Most of the houses were left down, near the shore, and they were driving up one of the green mountains, to a more secluded place. 

He could feel Minho nudging his side gently as Chan wondered if he could visit the market the next day. Just the thought of the nostalgic memory of the scent of fresh seafood that used to follow him through his childhood summers made his shoulders sag and relax into the dancer’s hold. 

Felix liked the greenery of the mountains and the cliffs he would go to almost everyday. He loved being surrounded by nothing more but the nature and wildlife in the island. 

His fingers ran over the wooden railing that lead from his small two room house to the forest, a place that the tourists usually never stumbled upon. 

The sun shone weakly through the clouds, casting a soft shadow over the ground, making the freckled boy smile as he watched the birds fly around high in the sky. Thirteen year old him would have cursed the birds out, but eighteen year old him loved every single sound they made as they dove past him. 

But then again, there are a lot of things that thirteen year old him would have never thought he was ever going to experience ever again or like. And eighteen year old him was given a second chance in life, even if it was in an island with a bit more than three thousand people living in it. 

Felix could feel the sunlight grazing his skin, giving it a soft tan, making his freckles stand out that bit more. 

The chirping birds were interrupted by the sound of cars driving by not that far away, making a frown come across the boy’s features. 

Every once in awhile a car would pass by, not more than one in a day, but Felix’s gut feeling was telling him that he was screwed. And his mind was screaming at him once again to get up and run as fast and far away as he can. 

His heart almost jumped out of his throat as he could hear the cars pass by, the trees moving in harmony once again. 

He resumed with watching the sky after a few silent moments, watching as the clouds passed by and the sun started shining a little bit brighter, making him flush a pretty pink from the heat. His fingers ran through the lush grass, tugging at the ends, making a satisfied sigh leave his lips as he could feel the pads of his fingers brushing against the earth underneath. 

The warm sun was lulling him into a slumber, his tensed up muscles relaxing as his eyes grew heavier with every passing second. 

The sudden knock on the wooden swing made him jump up in fright, his flight or fight instinct telling him to up and run away as far as he can. His heart slammed again his chest painfully as his eyes darted around wildly, only to settle on the face of an older woman, one that he recognized. 

“I didn’t mean to frighten you sunflower.” And normally Felix would scoff at any affectionate pet name, but he could never say no to grandmother Sooyoung, the woman had been nothing but kind and understanding to him during the last two years even if he hadn’t said more than a hundred words to her during the first month.

The freckled boy smiled at her gently, the corners of his lips barely tugging upwards, but it did the trick and the woman smiled at him even wider. 

He sat up as the elderly woman made her way to him, sitting on the small wooden bench to rest her aching legs and feet. 

“I know how you don’t like talking to people and even being near them, but my grandson and his friends have finally visited me, why don’t you come and greet them?” Felix could only look at the woman with sad eyes. He had listened to her stories about dear little Bang Chan and how sweet he was as a child. 

He had grown to recognize the name anywhere from all the stories. He had also grown a bit more bitter because this Bang Chan dude had a loving grandmother, yet he hadn’t visited her in more than ten years and she travelled all the way to Seoul even with her aching and hurting body just to see him. 

The freckled boy let a small smile grace his features as he once again looked at the elderly woman, sun shining into his eyes, making him squint as the two of them enjoyed the silence for a few seconds. 

“You know I would never let anyone hurt you, sunflower.” And if those words would come from anyone else, Felix would probably glare at them and maybe even curse them out, a sixteen year old him definitely would have. But this woman has been nothing but understanding and warm to him, sitting with him silently almost everyday for at least an hour.

“I just want my little bean sprout to meet my sunflower.” 

“Maybe another time Halmeoni? I still have to go down to the town today.” The woman gave the boy a soft smile as she squeezed his arm one more time before she stood up, stumbling to her feet a bit. 

She chuckled as she saw Felix jump to his own feet just to help her and patted the boy’s head in an affectionate way. 

“Don’t worry about little old me, sunflower. But if you will change you mind, my boy’s staying in the house that used to belong to the Parks, it’s not far from here.” And the freckled boy nodded at that. He had been to the house a few times before. 

He watched as the elderly woman walked back around his house and let out a soft sigh. His eyes darted back to the now clear sky. 

Today was going to be a long day.


	2. What happens in a small town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix and Hyunjin meet and Chan doesn’t believe that Hyunjin saw an angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m planning to be updating this story 1-2 times a week from now on. The plot’s gonna thicken around 5th chapter and some things will be clearer then, right now I’m trying to just slowly move into this story.

The sun has finally started shining brightly, the clouds no longer lingering around, and Felix looked around the market, trying to avoid looking anyone in the eyes. He has been in the island for almost two years, but too many people still freaked him out. 

Just having someone smiling a little bit too widely at him made his skin crawl and his stomach lurch. In the back of his brains there were always those thoughts, what if they knew?

What if someone in the island knew? 

No matter how much Felix tried to protect himself, he knew that if someone really wanted to, they could easily break into the house he’s living in. The doors were wooden and had just one lock on them, not much for safety. 

But apart from grandmother, no one has come up his mountain for months. 

The boy’s eyes darted all around the market, from a fish stand to the woman selling fruits to a man selling meat. Some children were running around happily. 

Most of the population of the island was quite old, the younger Koreans opting to leave to big cities, leaving only some behind. 

And normally Felix maybe would have felt lonely, he hasn’t talked to anyone his age for months. And he had avoided the group of teens who were locals in here, something in Taehyun’s eyes just screamed trouble to him. 

A small smile graced his features, firstly a little bit forced, as a woman asked if he wanted to buy some vegetables, but it turned into a more genuine one as he saw the friendliness shining in her eyes. 

Even if being around too many people tended to freak him out, it doesn’t mean that he thought everyone in the island was evil. Most people here just minded their business and liked to gossip because there was not much to do in here. 

Felix has heard so much gossip during the past month that he wouldn’t be surprised if someone really believed that the president was visiting in a few days. 

So when the freckled boy heard two older women giddily talking about a group of young men who had come to the island just a few days ago, a shiver went down his back. 

For a few seconds, Felix froze over with an apple in his hand, his eyes widening and memories flashing in the back of his head. He could feel the familiar stinging and pressure and he shut his eyelids close tightly. 

Just gossip. It’s just gossip. No one ever comes here, and if they do, they leave in a few days or on the same day. 

And now the welcoming smile of the elderly woman felt a little bit too forced, Felix’s body starting to tremble from fear. 

His skin prickled and felt too tight as he gulped down loudly. The boy tried to smile back at the woman, thanking her for the fruits as he paid, but from the sympathy in her eyes he could see. He wasn’t fooling anyone at this point. 

The boy quickly turned around, a bag in each of his arms as he tried to go to his bike, only to end up sitting on the ground, vegetables and fruits sprawled out on the ground. 

“Oh shit, I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to.” The freckled boy could feel his insides turning and twisting, his fingers digging into the ground for some security. He stared at his sprawled out legs for a few long and painful moments. 

A hand was trust in front of his bent head, his dark brown locks hiding his face away from the stranger. 

“Come on, grab my hand, don’t make me feel even more like a jerk.” There was something warm and welcoming about the voice, making Felix almost want to tilt his head up to look at the man, or rather boy in front of him. 

From his voice alone he couldn’t be that much older than him, Felix having to focus a little bit harder in order to catch the Korean works flying at him. 

The hand in front of his face looked too smooth to be anyone’s from the village. The nails trimmed and taken care of, fingers long and slim, almost elegant. 

A familiar ringing was in his ears, blocking out any other noise as he stared at the beautiful hand in front of his face. Felix had to fight the urge to look down at his own hands, smaller, more tan, littered with white faded scars. 

He had to fight back the urge to flinch back and curl into himself as the owner of the stretched out hand crouched down in front of him and started putting everything back into his spilled bags. 

Felix could finally hear the world around him, he could already hear the gossip that’s gonna start. 

Hyunjin had happily agreed to go down to the market early in the morning, too energised to do anything else but want to explore the island. 

While Changbin and Jisung have been whining about not knowing what to do, the dancer knew that he was going to go out into the nature with his camera clutched between his hands. Everything was so green, so pure and untouched. 

So when Chan asked him if he wanted to join him and go down into the town, to go into the market, Hyunjin jumped at the offer. 

But now Chan was somewhere talking to one of the uncles that he remembered playing with as a child, and the dancer was left all alone to explore around the market. 

And while he was too scared to go anywhere too far away, Hyunjin still decided to look around, if anything, Chan will be able to find him with his spidey leader senses. Not the first time he was going to be lost. 

What he didn’t plan was to have a pretty boy on the ground in front of him because he slammed into him. 

Even with the soft brown hair falling into his eyes and head tilted forwards, Hyunjin could tell that the boy was beautiful. 

From the narrow shoulders to the plump lips and are those freckles? He had to bite down onto his own lips to keep in the soft gasp that was threatening to spill out. 

He was sure that even the boy’s eyes were beautiful, now if only the freckled angel could tilt his head up to look at him. 

Hyunjin could feel his cheeks dusting over with a shade of rose as he held his hand outstretched to the other boy awkwardly. He could feel people looking at the two of them and his abdominal muscles tightened from his nervous state. 

“Oh God why am I so awkward now?” Hyunjin was about to let his hand drop to his side, kind of disappointed that the boy on the ground ignored his help. He could hear someone sniggering from behind him and he was sure that it was one of the older women who let their children tug on his clothes when they arrived yesterday. 

Felix let out a soft mumble of regret as he gave one more glance to his own hands and tightly gripped onto those long fingers. A loud gasp could be heard from the owner of the hand and Felix almost laughed at that. 

His eyes widened at the short snort that left him, he hadn’t actually laughed for months at this point. And his head unconsciously tilted upwards as he was hoisted up from the ground, his knees a little bit shaky and hands trembling. 

Felix could feel his hand being squeezed tightly and he marvelled at the size difference, his shoulders a bit tensed up as his eyes finally traveled up the boy’s figure to look at his face. 

And to say that the freckled boy’s heart skipped a beat or two would be an understatement. He felt as if his heart stopped beating for a few moments as he met soft eyes so mesmerising, that he swore he could drown in them. 

He stared into them for a few seconds before his eyes unconsciously traveled all over the boy’s face, taking in his features. 

The beautiful eyes, those thick lips that were pulled apart in something Felix didn’t want to figure out. And that cute mole right under the boy’s eye. 

While he had spent three years being around a lot of breathtaking people from different backgrounds and races, this boy right in front of him made everyone around him pale. He was made of vibrant yellows and blues and Felix could feel his chest tightening. 

“Hi, you are really pretty.” As if being burned, Felix snapped his hand back to his side and bent down to pick up everything he has spilt that the beautiful boy still hasn’t picked up. The apples and peaches had rolled around a little bit and the boy awkwardly gathered everything with the help of the mesmerising boy. 

“I’m Hyunjin, came here yesterday.” Felix straightened his back as he looked down at the ground and stepped away from the boy, hurriedly making his way to his bike as shouts to please not run away and sorries followed after him. 

Hyunjin stood with his eyes stuck on the now retreating boy. 

He had wanted to go after him, to apologise for bumping into him, but something told him that the boy didn’t really want to be around a stranger. Just the look in his eyes screamed of fear and tension, body rigid and shaking as he distanced himself. 

But the dancer just wanted to look at that face once more, to maybe hear the boy say at least a few words to him. 

He flinched as he felt a hand clapping down onto his shoulder, breathing out a sigh of relief as Chan’s laughter filled the space around them, making him relax automatically. 

“What are you staring at?” The dancer just sighed again and gave one last glance at the buildings that the freckled boy had disappeared behind. He tilted his head to look back at Chan and gave him a dazed look and a lazy smile. 

“I think I just made an angel fall.” Chan looked at him with confusion marring his features, lips pulled into a small smile as he shook his head. 

“I think the heat’s getting to your head.” 

“No, hyung! I really saw an angel, you should have seen him too.” The older man simply wrapped his arm around the other’s shoulders, having to stand on his tip toes a bit, and dragged the boy to the car they came in. 

“Let’s go back before you go knocking more people down.” Hyunjin pouted as the two of them settled into the car, him sitting in the passenger’s seat while Chan was behind the wheel. The dancer looked out of the window, marvelling at the scenery in front of him, while a warm hand was splayed on his upper thigh. 

A thumb rubbed into his jean clad leg, giving him a warm feeling, making him smile at his reflection. No matter how much Chan teased him, he always knew how much he actually meant to the leader. 

The two of them had to dodge Jeongin and Jisung as the boys tried to barrel into them while asking what they bought in the town. 

“While I was actually buying food, Hyunjin was busy trying to flirt with some village boy.” Changbin let out a loud snort as Minho whistled as he tried to dodge Seungmin who already had Hyunjin in a chokehold, demanding information. 

“Chan hyung’s just salty because he missed an angel.” He barely dodged the leader’s slap coming to his back as Seungmin still tried to choke the information out of him. 

“Hyunjin you just want someone to wet your dick.” The dancer let out a gasp in mock offence, Jisung cackling from behind Minho as he tried to hide away. 

“No, but Sungie you should have seen him, so pretty.” The members rolled their eyes at the dancer as they let him gush over some village boy, knowing that Hyunjin tended to fall fast and hard, but would also fall out of love fast enough to not get hurt much. 

“Hyung stop talking about your imaginary angel and help me with my things, I want to unpack.” 

“Innie! I thought you were on my side!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear this was gonna be more angst but it turned out softer? I am shocked and intrigued by it myself.


	3. One of those nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sudden storm brings Felix something that could either break or make him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya girl’s not dead, I’m back and i’ll be updating this story on a weekly basis again, now enjoy this chapter I wrote while having a sugar rush at 3 am.

The sun was just starting to settle down and Felix was sitting on the wooden bench right outside of his small house. The wind had picked up during the last three hours, but the boy wasn’t worried about it. 

The wind was running through his brown hair and ruffling it, the boy having his eyes closed shut as he enjoyed the chilly feeling on his skin. 

For summer, the weather was definitely chillier, making the boy snuggle into his fuzzy sweater, his cheeks pink from the wind. 

Soft brown eyes looked up at the sky, watching the clouds getting darker and thicker, promising upcoming rain and probably a storm too. The boy should have definitely listened to the radio, maybe they would have said something. 

It took him ten more minutes to deem it too cold to enjoy the summer day, opting to just go inside and try to relax, maybe sleep in earlier so he could wake up early too. 

But staying inside definitely didn’t bring him any comfort. 

The boy was wrapped up with two blankets, but he still seemed cold. It seemed like there was a sudden drop in temperature. 

The soft tapping of rain against the glass has turned into a more furious banging, making the boy cuddle up into the blankets. His eyes fell shut again, images of delicate hands, beautiful eyes and a cute mole flashing. 

Three days have passed since he had the run in with the pretty boy. He hasn’t seen him again and has avoided going out of the house or at least the territory surrounding it. 

He had became used to seeing friendly middle aged and old people around, with small children and just barely few teens and adults. So coming in contact with someone around his age, especially someone this attractive, shocked the boy to his core.

He had spent the next day after the encounter scared to move. He didn’t even eat much, his mind filled up with all the beautiful people he had met in his life. 

Given that most of the faces were now blurry, just a few had been stuck in his memory. Just the ones he had seen for more than a few times were in his memory. But flashes of beautiful eyes and smiles that he had seen only once or twice still visited him once in awhile.

Felix sighed as he stood up, leaving the blankets on the old couch, walking over to the light switch. A frown crossed his features as he pressed up and down, but noting happened. 

His feet hit the ground softly as he walked around the kitchen, trying to turn on the kettle, and when even the oven couldn’t be turned on, the boy let out a soft sigh. 

The boy looked around the kitchen, searching for any matches to light up the candles and the oil lamps, but it seemed like he had ran out of them. 

It took him a few minutes to figure out that grandmother had told him that her grandson was staying in the house not so far away. It would take him about half an hour to get there. His heart felt heavy as he looked down at his feet. 

It was either stay inside and survive without electricity and light, or swallow down his anxieties and go over to the neighbours. 

Felix wasn’t stupid. He had figured out that it was very likely that the pretty boy was grandmother’s grandson. He already dubbed the boy as ‘Chan’ in his head, at least the elderly woman had told him that was supposed to be his name. 

He buried his face into the high neck of his sweater, cursing at himself for not buying an umbrella in the market as he stepped out through the doors. The rain washed over his hair, making it wet within less than a minute. 

The sun has already set, making the sky dark, but luckily Felix could still see clearly, walking down the muddy road between the tall trees. 

Leaves moved around, making Felix stay alert and face every sound around him. Even the slightest chirp and snap made him jump and freak out. 

The boy has never liked being outside alone when it was dark, and now that it was raining the fear just intensified. 

It seemed to be getting colder, his sweater not keeping him warm anymore as he walked through the forest, praying that he was in fact going the right way. He had only been to that house twice, so his sense of direction wasn’t the strongest one. 

His shoulders slumped as he saw the three story house in front of him, right behind some trees. 

The house was definitely big and could host at least two families. But only one light seemed to be on. Which was good enough, it meant that the grandson hasn’t yet gone to sleep. 

Chan lazed around the house, too tired to do anything else but to lay on the comfortable couch, watching the old movie playing on the TV. 

All the members have wanted Chan to take them to see how his grandmother worked and just to see the island. But when Woojin saw that the blond looked half dead and when his worries were confirmed when he was told that the leader had in fact not slept at all during the night, he demanded he stays and sleeps.

The Australian fought for a few minutes before Hyunjin had ordered for him to sleep, offering to stay with him. 

But the blond simply shook his head, saying that he was probably going to sleep through all of the day, so Hyunjin should just enjoy the day with the members. 

He had stayed true to his words. The members left the house with his grandmother around ten, and he had fallen asleep right after with the TV playing in the background. Only to be woken up by his phone ringing. 

It had been Minho, calling him to tell him that the rain had made the road impossible to drive through and that they were staying at his grandmother’s for the night. He told him not to worry and to just sleep through the remainder of the day and night. 

But Chan couldn’t fall back asleep, feeling already rested enough, but too tired to do anything else but lay on the couch. He remembered why he never liked taking naps as a child. 

He wasn’t even that interested in the old movie that was playing, opting to maybe search for something more entertaining, when his ears picked up the sound of gentle knocking against he doors. 

It couldn’t be his members, right? They said they were not going to be back, and they had their own keys for the doors. 

The thought about all the horror movies he has watched in his life flashed through his brains. Was this how he was going to die?

The knocking continued and the boy stepped closer to the doors, glad that there was at least a peep hole to check who it was. 

His shoulders tensed up as he saw a boy he had never seen before, he couldn’t be older than twenty. He looked like he was soaked to the bone and shivering, waiting for Chan to take pity on him and open the doors. 

And the Australian being soft hearted threw the doors open, almost hitting the boy in the process, apologising furiously after that. 

Felix shivered as he stood on the doorstep of the house, praying that the person was going to take pity on him.

It had started pouring as he was walking, leaving him to get soaked, sweater clinging to him like second skin. He had started shivering at some point too, knowing that at that point it was too late to simply go back home. 

With no electricity and the lack of chopped wood he had, Felix would surely get sick. 

So his last hope was the grandmother’s grandson taking pity on him and opening the doors. 

He could hear someone near the doors inside the house, eyes clenched shut tightly, praying silently to whoever was listening to answer to his prayers. 

As the doors swung open, barely missing him, he furrowed his eyebrows in shock and surprise. 

The freckled boy expected to see the breathtaking boy from the market a few days ago, but this was definitely not it. The boy in front of him was the same height as him, and had blond curly hair. And probably the fairest skin he has ever seen. 

Felix almost wanted to just reach out and touch the boy’s cheeks, just to see if the skin was as smooth and soft as it looked. 

He shivered both from the cold air seeping through his clothes and the intense gaze of the other. 

“Hey, are you okay?” The voice soothed him instantly, making him relax a little bit as the curly haired blond showed concern over him.

A small part of his brains screamed at him to run away. This was unknown territory and he was in front of someone he has never known. 

“I, um, sorry, I probably got the wrong house.”

Chan looked at the boy with wide eyes. Even with hair soaked and clothes clinging to him, he was already so pretty. 

He zooned into the boy saying something, eyes widening even more when he heard that deep voice. He could feel his insides turning and heart beating as fast as a hummingbird’s wings. That voice alone would hypnotise anyone. 

“Angel.” It looked like the soaked boy heard him, eyes narrowing and lips pulling into a thin line. He could see the clear discomfort on the other and he cursed himself out silently. 

He was sure that this was the angel Hyunjin had told them about. But now it looked like the boy was weary of him and uncomfortable. 

“Sorry, I meant hi, don’t be afraid, could I help you?” It looked like it took everything the boy had not to run away, and Chan frowned at that, tilting his head to the side in confusion. 

“I was searching for grandmother’s grandson? Chan? But you aren’t him?” The curly haired blond let out a loud laugh, finally putting together just who exactly the boy in front of him was. And it seemed like he just confused the boy even more. 

“That’s where you’re wrong, I am Chan.” He let out another soft laugh when the soaked boy looked at him in curiosity for a few moments before looking down at his feet. The boy shivered and Chan jumped to action, finally snapping out of his daydreaming. 

“Why don’t you come inside? You’ll get sick.” 

Felix worried his bottom lip in between his front teeth. He had accepted the invitation to come inside with a lot of hesitation, and here he was, an hour later on the couch nestling a cup of warm tea and wearing clothes of the boy who he now knew was Chan. 

No matter how many times he had declined, the curly haired boy still decided to fix him up something to eat. 

At first the boy was just planning to ask for some matches, maybe some wood to borrow, but the blond was so warm and inviting, offering for him to stay in for a bit. 

And at the start, Felix was tensed up and jumped at every single sound, not used to being around someone when it’s late, especially not someone who was around his age. 

But as Chan talked about his summers in the island and how his grandmother always made sure to tuck him in, Felix relaxed without noticing it. The boy radiated such warmth that the freckled teen simply gave into the feeling of wanting to actually be around someone for once. 

His eyes flew all around the room in curiosity, Chan still talking to him from the kitchen. The TV was playing some talk show Felix used to watch when he was back in Sydney. He could recognise the language and accent anywhere. 

Compared to the tiny house he lived in, this was a whole mansion. The furniture was brand new, the couches looked like no one had ever sat on them before. 

“I’m sorry, this was all I could come up with at this point.” Chan settled the large bowl of kimchi fried rice with bits of pork on the coffee table in front of the freckled boy gently. The curly haired blond watched as Felix studied the food with surprise and something familiar to nostalgia clouding his eyes. 

“I, it’s okay, this is more than I could ask for.” The boy’s voice was hoarse and scratchy, almost like he hasn’t used it in awhile. Chan’s eyebrows were furrowed at the thought of Felix not having anyone to talk to while in the island. 

“How long have you lived here?” Felix tensed up at that question, stomach turning and the chopsticks he was holding in his hand clanged loudly as they fell down to the table. He could feel Chan’s eyes on him, studying him, and his heart slammed against his chest painfully. It felt like bugs were crawling all over his skin. 

“I, I’m sorry. Sorry.” At that point the freckled boy didn’t know what he was apologising for. It was probably for spilling some of the fried rice. But most likely he was apologising because he felt like he made the atmosphere awkward. 

And the boy curled up into himself, his mind filling up with memories of shouts and brutal hands whenever he had been awkward. One wrong word or emotion and Felix could barely open his eyes the next morning. 

He could still feel fantom convulsions and burning as he felt a hand pressing against his shoulder to get his attention. But it only made the Australian curl back into the couch, trying to get away from the unfamiliar touch as best as he could. 

Chan winced under his nose as he watched the boy avoid his touches. 

He had noticed that Felix had stopped responding to him and looked like he was lost in between memories. He didn’t think that the boy was going to be this frightened by his simple touch. 

So he retracted his hand as quickly as he could, as if he was burned, while watching the other with gentle and concerned eyes. 

The curly blond watched as the boy shivered, curling into himself and the hoodie that belonged to Chan. 

“Hey, it’s okay Felix. I’m the one who’s sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you.” The freckled teen could only nod his head at that while still keeping a safe distance between them. Chan noticed how the other was still shivering, even the warm blanket wasn’t helping anymore. 

“Why don’t you go and take a warm shower and I’ll get you something warmer to wear?” He tried to make his voice sound as gentle as he could, but the covering boy still flinched a bit. 

“I think I should go back.” Chan simply shook his head at that, keeping his distance when in reality he wanted to comfort the boy with a cuddle. Hyunjin has always said that his cuddles were the warmest out of all the members. 

“Please, stay. You can’t go back in this weather, you’ll get sick.” Felix shyly peered at the other for a few seconds, trying to read his face as best as he could. His heart skipped a few beats when he saw that soft smile gracing his features. The dimple giving him more charm. 

The boy was about to try and protest but Chan let out a soft whine at him and pouted in hopes that the boy will trust him at least that much. 

“Grandma will beat my ass if you will get sick, please stay?” 

“I, okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll be updating the story one or twice in a week now that I have a bit more time and my mind’s better. I will be keeping Woojin in because he will always be a stray kid. Hope you’ll have fun reading the chapter and once again, I never edit anything.

**Author's Note:**

> This is like an intro to everything. I spent two hours picking out an island setting? I was dedicated? Like for real? But yeah, this is me making my bias and bias wreckers suffer because why not?


End file.
